A Stóirín, A Ghrá

How can the small flowers grow,
If the wild wind blows,
And the cold snow
Is all around?

And where will the frail birds fly,
If their homes on high
Have been torn down
To the ground?

Lift the Wings,
And carry me away from here
And fill the sails
That breaks the line to dawn.
But when I’m miles and miles apart from you,
I’m beside you when I think of you a stóirín, a ghrá.

How can a tree stand tall,
if the rain won’t fall,
to wash its branches down.

And how can the heart survive,
Can it stay alive?
If its loves denied for long.

Lift the Wings,
And carry me away from here
And fill the sails
That breaks the line to home.
But when I’m miles and miles apart from you,
I’m beside you when I think of you a stóirín,,
and I’m with you as I dream of you a stóirín,,
and the sun will bring me
near to you a stóirín, a ghrá.

~Lift the Wings, from Riverdance, music by Bill Whelan

Every once in a while, I stumble on a song that makes me feel very strongly. Lift the Wings is absolutely one of those songs. For me, it’s a very spiritual song, though it may not be so for others.

I don’t have any great luck in relationships. I’m not good at them, and they almost always end badly. Yet I am also a hopeless romantic at many times — to the point where  I have frequently said that “if it weren’t for love and poetry, I’d have long ago given up entirely on humanity”.

So for me, my love of my goddess is very VERY important; it’s something I am often conflicted on, but unwilling to jeopardize. It’s the one relationship I have where I haven’t screwed things up massively.

“A stóirín, a ghrá” happens to translate as “my treasure, my love”, and these are both appellations I use when communicating with Lilith. It’s important to frequently affirm my feelings for her, sometimes for her sake, and sometimes for mine. If we lose sight of who and why we cherish, then we lose focus. We become distractible. When we are distractible, we can be more easily veered off course and wind up in a place that at best will not fulfill us and our needs, and at worst, subvert and harm us.

I can be very fickle. It’s not my best trait. It’s led to a lot of bad decisions, mistakes, and heartbreak for me. Through it all, I have kept to my love of a stóirín, a ghrá as best I can. Sometimes I fail. Sometimes it’s challenged by anger or doubt. But I am only human, and humans will doubt anything and everything. If we change course every time we have a second thought, nothing would get done. Staying the course is hard for me. It’s VERY HARD.

This song speaks to me on many levels. The challenges I have faced, the desire to leave all of those challenges behind, and how my goddess helps me endure it all with her love, compassion, and warmth. Lilith can be a wild, angry, and violent goddess. Maybe my experience with her softer side is unique. Maybe it’s just rare. But she helps lift my wings, fill my sails, and is a sheltered port in every storm where I can rest in a place that allows me to really rest, not just sleep, in the arms of someone I treasure and love.

Even as terrible at close relationships as I am, through my goddess, I have this wonderful loving presence in my life.

That all having been said, I really wish I was better at people relationships… Guess I’ll go drown my sorrows in more music.


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