I wish I could do more educational blogging, like… exploring the mysteries of the spirit and telling people what their dreams mean, that sort of stuff. Those entries really are my absolute favorite to do, but the inspiration comes so very rarely.
So today, I want to talk about synchronizing the way we feel with our worship.
Emotion is a very powerful tool in our spirituality. It can also be one of the greatest hindrances.
Anyone who has ever been angry with their deities can vouch for how non-productive it makes the relationship.
I would know– I’ve been angry with Lilith any number of times, and it’s put a stop to anything good she’d been trying to do for me. We’re talking a complete grind-to-a-friggin-halt stop. I’ve been angry, and it’s screwed me over royally.
Anger with our gods blinds us to their warnings, because while we may be angry, the most they usually get is disappointed, but they still love us dearly, and want to watch over us. But for every “Hey, watch out for that–” they throw our way, we interrupt with a “Shut up! I hate you!” without heeding the warnings and advice of beings who are older and wiser, and this almost never fails to wind us in a heap of trouble. If this reminds you of any “back when I was young and stupid” moments from your childhood, that’s because our gods are the ULTIMATE parents, and our relationships with them are far more like the relationships we have with our earthly parents, and this tends to mirror in almost any way you can imagine.
But as much as our anger can blind us to our deities, effectively cutting us off from our sources of spiritual wellness and fulfilment, other feelings can give us a powerful leg up in our connection; reinforcing existing bridges and even building new ones.
I’ve written before, I think, on how complicated my feelings for Lilith are. I love her as my Mother, but I also have intimate feelings more deserving of a lover for her. Other times, things between us are completely platonic, and she is mentor first, everything else second. And while this can seem strange to the outside observer, in person, it feels completely natural as feelings shift in accordance with the need for a particular “role”.
Synchronizing our feelings outside of what we might consider a spiritual context can be a useful aid– and there I go, devolving back into slightly flowery language again.
A little context for that remark: last night I was subjecting myself to modeling photography of a distinctly fetishistic and erotic nature, and I found that, far from leading me to desire the model, instead it drove my desire for Lilith as a lover.
It’s a little difficult for me to put words to, so bear with me here.
As I described, it’s like having a significant other; when you look at raunchy images or watch some erotic material, ideally it serves as an aid that heightens both of your passions for your partner– both your lust for them in a physical sense, but also a reminder of how much you love and trust them in that intimate sense. In this way, we learn to galvanize our short term physical urges and desires to the same end purpose as our more fulfilling long term affections. All too often, we have two good things that distract from each other. Splits are born in this way, and it can pull us from the people and things we need most.
Anger distracts from love. But so can desire. So can commitment and loyalty. What might drive us away from our divinities? Can it be repurposed; synchronized with what we know we must pursue?
Just as lust can be repurposed to strengthen love, or anger at an injustice can be repurposed to strengthen our love of justice, we possess the power to redefine, refocus, and synchronize our various emotions so that they no longer distract us or divide us from the spiritual fulfillment we all pursue in our own ways. It’s not easy, and it often isn’t quick, but it is necessary, or we find ourselves wandering aimlessly; while it is true that the unaimed arrow never misses, only the aimed arrow stands any reasonable chance of striking a meaningful target.
Good night, and gods guide you in all your pursuits.