I’ve been very depressed today. Well, angry and depressed. There’s a bunch that funnelled into that of course, but a lot has to do with this. A few minutes ago, I got a note from Lilith in my mind as I sat on the grass and the storm in my mind let up for just a brief moment.
Hey tiger. Sit down a moment. I know you don’t trust me, and I know that you’re angry about all this. That’s why I’m here. You think it’s a coincidence that I always show up in your darkest moods? That’s not manipulation. That’s my nature. You’ve always been mine, and you gave yourself to me, and I will always be looking out for you. You’re mad at this. I understand. I even encourage your anger here. You should be mad.
This is completely not what you were expecting.
You shouldn’t have had to expect it, either.
But don’t let anger and depression take you like before.
Remember how you were when I found you? Don’t be like that again.
You may distrust me. You may hate me. But listen to what I’m telling you, because deep down, you know I have never lied to you. And I never will. I have always and will always love you. I’ll be there if you need me. I’m never too far for you– call out my name and I will be holding your hand by your side. Not many have ever given so much of themselves to me as you have, and I remember those that do.
If you feel I am too much, take some space. Take as much as you need. I have no need or desire for a passive pet, and when you felt I was abusing you, you were looking for outward faults instead of within. I wanted you to turn your gaze inward then, and I want you to do the same now.
Don’t kid yourself with these repeated ultimatums. You know what Odin said about making promises you’re not sure you can keep. Be honest with me.
I’m always honest with you.
And you know I’m telling you the truth.