I know. I lied. I meant to take a break, and then I wrote this poem as my soul wondered “What must the Divine Force think about us?” If you go back to some of my very early writing, you’ll see that I link my gods to every other in a unified force of cosmic order as it were. This force, to me, is where Divinity begins. What must it think about us? Does it look at us and go “Wow.. they’re awesome!”, or maybe “I am so ashamed of them.”
Maybe it doesn’t do either. Read on, and ponder.
Long I have sat in contemplation, deep in moody thought
Watching the stars shift beneath my celestial isle
I gaze upon this world I have made for their lot
And the Melting Pot of spirits they have become
There is no song, rhyme or reason to their kind
Gods of every form and color they possess
Many Gods, Single Gods, even the God of No God.
What a strange assemblage of faith, I thought.
I could feel myself pulled by that strangeness
Ripped and torn into the various faces they cried for
And yet here I sit, torn to shreds but still whole
They cannot fathom me, much as I may try to help them
They cannot prove me, much as I show my many faces.
Their reason is their blessing and their enemy, a gifted curse
I am of them and beneath them, in them and around them
And yet epoch upon epoch, they tear me apart with their Faith:
I am the “I Am”, I am Wise Odin,
I wear Great Quetzalcoatl and also I am Zeus
But Male alone I am not
I am Frigga too. Hera is another name,
Brigid and Amaterasu also true.
I am everything they say I am, and even more that they do not.
I am beyond their understanding, despite my never ending efforts
All these faces they give to me, not one of them is fully true
Pearls of Truth is all they have, their sight is smaller than they know
I told them that Spirit and Reason go hand in hand, only to be ignored
They know what they want, and what they want isn’t me.
They have no idea of how painful it is to be Cosmic Order Adored.
Yet I love them anyway, each in my own way.
This one lives well and true, so his light burns fast and bright
A suffering beacon to a dark lost world, so I cut short his plight
I find myself blamed for my mercy, for limiting his suffering.
This one here lives wicked and dark, killing others and dealing suffering
I extend his life so they may know the face of evil and choose another path
And then I am blamed for not striking him down and saving his victims
(Yet saved they were, for they live here within my eternity
What is “them” lives forever, everything else Re-Turned)
This next one lives honorably and bright, and I reward her with her success
And then they blame her with accusations of dishonesty and sin to obtain it.
This other one lives horribly and wrong, and I cut her life short
Her unhealthy living pained me to watch, and put others at great risk
I gave her a second chance, a new turn of the cycle, what was good preserved
And everything else run through the mill again
Again and again, until they get it right.
There is no Hell, no torture come the final night
Just the learning and the living I provide
Until each and every light shines bright.
I help them and they blame me
I show my love and they scold me
They insist I only exist as they know me
Or even worse that I don’t exist.
And I don’t exist, not as they will ever understand.
For it takes one to know one
An eternal to understand eternity.
They have no idea how hard it is to be Eternity Adored.