How do you reassure kin?

Time for a heavy sigh.

And another Honesty Hour.

This is the bit of the pagan path I never ever look forward to, and no loving soul should.

Yesterday, I received an email from a family member. I will not post the whole text, as there are personal details involved that I would rather not disclose, but suffice it to say that everyone who follows such a path will encounter a message like this; and probably several times.

The message goes as follows:

“Stop calling this thing you worship Lilith. Just call this being Lucifer, or the Shape – Changer. You are putting yourself and maybe everyone around you in harms way. All so you can be special.
I love you.  I have tried to be open minded and I have hoped you would come to your senses. You haven’t. So I will not compliment you on these perceptions or your writing.
I don’t dictate that you worship the God I worship (although you did a few years ago make that commitment). You can go underground with your writings and your adulation of this very dangerous thing.  I hope that you talk to me and try to keep your mind open to other philosophies. I’m worried about you.”

Lilith has told me at numerous times not to “lose” the love of my family, though I was never exactly trying to do so.

It is true that I went through a Christian Confirmation process, but these days I regard it as having been done on false pretenses as the choice of another Way had not been allowed or revealed at the time.

I read a message like that, and I am appalled and offended that someone so dear to me would claim I was “just trying to be special”. I want to please everyone, but I already know that I can’t. Before this life, I was extremely unhappy. I was wrestling with constant fear, borderline paranoia at times, and depression. As a Christian, I found life dull and colorless.

And then I found and embraced Lilith, and other deities she introduced me to. With the path she set me on, I discovered pride in my Norse ancestors. I discovered courage and honor, wisdom and cunning. I became stronger as a person. Stronger than I’d ever been before. I discovered the Owl, Wolf, and Raven as animals that I respect and admire, each one embodying the qualities I desire for myself.

But more than that, she gave me my happiness back.

Christianity did not leave me with nothing; I took from it personal and family values that I continue to hold to this day yet I retain those which blend best with the values that Allfather Odin has taught me. I don’t wish to damn Christianity. I don’t even fancy disliking it. I do my best to give it a wide berth when the topic comes up, though I do love chattering about the academic points of my own beliefs. Sorry people. Is true.

You have your parables and I have mine.

I still wonder if there is a human partner out there for me, a soul mate whom I will share the rest of my life with, but for now I can content myself with the knowledge that when I join Eternity, I will not do so alone: Lilith will be in the dark waiting for me.

But she has told me not to lose or abandon my family ties. How do I reassure them that I’m not some sort of crazed worshiper of evil when they are so concerned that I am?

It’s a question that I do not have the answer to. I need answers: I don’t want this to come between me and people I care about.

If ever there was a time I needed  more wisdom, this would be it.

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One thought on “How do you reassure kin?

  1. I’m truly sorry you’re going through this. All of us do at some point, and in some way. So you’re definitely not alone. Thank you for being brave enough to reach out.

    Families divide over all kinds of issues. Whether it’s something big like politics and religion, or something small like how you wear your hair, fights will come up. The important thing to ask yourself is, “is the fight worth it?”

    I’m not sure how old you are, and the type of wisdom I’d dispense hinges on that (you need different weapons for different battles.) At any rate, if this is something that’s really eating at you, and your family is not being receptive to your honesty, then THEY are not the people to talk to about it. You should talk about it, and believe what you believe, but not with them.

    You’re in a very unique and advantageous position because you’re still open-minded toward Christianity. I know many pagans, athiests etc who become violently offended when asked to church or when a Christian offers their blessings. Know that if someone wants to share their religion with you, it’s because they’re sharing their version of divine love. Pagans and Christians that can graciously accept each others’ blessings are wonderful people.

    If your family is not willing to accept your beliefs, give them time. Live your life on your own terms. I’m lucky enough to have a pagan family — but I wouldn’t talk about sex with my parents. It would be too weird. If this is straining your relationship with your family, and THEY are not willing to make any concessions, then you should keep your own counsel. Find a community, brothers, sisters and mentors with whom you can be your honest self.

    They’ll come around. Be patient with them, and with yourself.

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